Watch Your Language

I caught myself using the phrase "Senior Moments" the other day.  My husband and I were joking about something I had misplaced, and probably lost.  But it made me stop. It felt like I was giving myself permission to assume that aging equals addled.  That's an assumption that I don't want to make, nor does it serve me.

This is from a wonderful article on how the words we choose influence our reality:

"Words can lift us up, or they can beat us down. The words we choose convey and influence our thoughts, feelings, and attitudes. There's a lot of research that shows that the terms and concepts people use both reflect and affect attitudes. If you call someone old and senile, for example, it can affect both their perception of themselves and the way others perceive them."

I started to do more reading on the topic. Which made me far more aware of how negative words and phrases had crept into my every day conversation.  Here are a few of mine that I have since eliminated:

Declining years
Long in the tooth
Old as the hills
Old fogy
Older than dirt
One foot in the grave
Twilight years
Winter of life

In his declining years 

I'm no longer enjoying those greeting cards that represented older people as fools.  I don't find them funny.  While I know it's important not to take yourself too seriously, every choice has a consequence.  I'm choosing my words and humor more thoughtfully now.

What words and phrases could you eliminate from your vocabulary to encourage a better vision of aging?  It's your choice!

Women of a Certain Age

I had lunch with my friend Meredith yesterday.  She is age defying.  She gulps life in and enjoys it all to the utmost.  Sitting in my favorite bistro, she noticed a dessert of martini glasses filled with stripes of panna cotta and coffee gelee – just beautiful.  Her statement: “I’m having one of those”, my thought: “I shouldn’t – it’s beautiful, but fattening”.  What a different perspective!

She remarried at the age of 62. (Well, 62 and looks like 42 – I mean really.)  And has had lot of life between marriages:  Modeled, started businesses, had quite a career in the online world, suffered some major losses in love, family and finances, and always bounced back for the next chapter.  The next chapter is frequently a far cry from the last.  Fear of taking risks doesn’t seem to be part of her vocabulary.  I asked her about that. 

”Oh yes, I am fearful, and go thru intense grieving periods.  But I give myself x amount of time, then just stop – put it away in a box and get on with it”. 

So, I’ve decided that I want to be more like Mere.  Enjoy it all, go after even more.

That’s why I’ve started this blog.  Women of a certain age can just disappear in our culture - certainly in the fashion scene, and the media.  I look for them in the business world and don’t see many. Many start their own businesses. This may be my eyes, but certainly is partly true. 

I’m going to point to women who are doing amazing things with their later years - who are amazing people. I’ll meander around issues that affect us, other blogs, designers, fashions, food, influences that are a part of us, or that we should be a part of.

Initially there will be a lot on fashion, and design. And Mindset. We’ll see where it goes.  Fashion is where I’m feeling the biggest gap.  Where are the 60+ women?  Who is designing for us?  Clothes that I like have skirts that are too short, or a tad too young, but still full of style and color. 

Age defying Women I’d like to have a lunch with:

Iris Apfel - my absolute, all time icon

Bobbi Brown

Diane von Furstenburg

Diane Keaton

Elsa Peretti

Paloma Picasso

Edith Head

My people will call your people.  

PS. I'm doing a monthly e-newsletter "Attitude Adjustments"  Come join me - we can all use an adjustment or two in mindset.